(6) Benefit Finder

I hate to repeat myself , but our focus creates reality.

On the road of pursuing our own definition of success , whether we like it or not , it will be full of challenges and obstacles. Some we might be able to overcome in a blink of eyes , and some might do a "Sergio Ramos" on us causing a temporary setback.

It is easy to be confident and stay positive when everything is going your way , but to remain a benefit finder in the midst of chaos and failure can definitely be challenging to say the least.

In time of struggles , the default setting of human is very prone to the counterproductive 3Ms without even knowing about them.

1. Magnifying Ever felt like the world is coming to and end when you fail at something? We tend to see these failures as permanent and pervasive. We tend to see our effort as all or nothing. Either I get an A for the test , or I fail at it. Neither case is true or healthy. Do not dismiss your mistakes or failures , but do not magnify them unnecessarily too.

1. Minimizing Or more commonly known as "tunnel vision". When we are too focus on the journey of pursuing our goal , it is easy to lose focus of everything else around us. Focusing on the goal is important , but we will never get there if we ignore the big picture. Take a step back , reevaluate your progress , and refine your routine.

2. Making Up Perhaps the worst we can do to ourselves amid failures and setbacks , is we tend to personalize the failure , and resort to emotional reasoning. It's entirely my fault , I am a piece of shit that is never going to amount to anything. Get a hold of yourself , and ask friends around you for an honest and objective opinion. Chances are you're overselling your own failures.

It takes a life time of practice , especially for those who aren't born an optimist , to avoid falling into the trap of these 3Ms. It takes consciousness to realize that we are experiencing the 3Ms , and a certain amount of dedicated effort to get out of it.

Remember , if we change HOW we interpret and perceive circumstances , the circumstances will start to change. Try your very best to see the goods in even the most terrible situation. Be a benefit finder , extract and absorb lessons from each setbacks. Believe that no matter what hardships that you're going through right now , it's a process of strengthening yourself and a step towards your goal.

There are many quotes that best summarize how we move past 3Ms and come out stronger from failures.

"Sometimes I win , sometimes I learn." "Fail your way to success." "The man who makes no mistakes does not make anything." But the best quote of them all , the one that really hit home for me , has to be Steve Jobs.

Be a benefit finder now.

Learn from your mistakes , and compound on your success.