(3) Change

"It may be that trying to be happier is as futile as trying to be taller and is therefore counterproductive."

That's a bold quote from the authors of the famous Minnesota Twins Study. If that is true , there is no point on creating this blog , and all the self-help books over the years are nothing but lies. Mr. Tal Ben-Shahar insists that change is indeed possible , if we keep an open mind and ask the right question.

There are numerous research supporting the fact that "neuroplasticity" is a real thing. Contrary to popular belief , our brain changes throughout our lives. For example , practicing the guitar strengthen a specific neuro pathway that is connected to...... well , playing the scales. You get my point.

Learning how to be more optimistic , and condition our brain to be more susceptible to positive emotions is vital , because like it or not , life is hard. Imagine life as a really high and steep hill , with a stronger psychological engine , it'll be easier for us to climb the hill of life.

Many studies that tell us we cannot change , or why we cannot be happier than our genetic predisposition level largely focus on the state of average people , that have never been exposed to positive psychology before in their life. If we want to know how fast human can run , we look at Usain Bolt in the Olympics , not how you and me perform in a 100 meter sprint. The same should be applied to level of happiness. We need to look at , and learn from those who succeeded despite circumstances , not the average people. By studying the best , we know better how to help and improve the level of well being for the rest of the population.

It is undeniable that environment and life events are going to affect our level of well-being , but more importantly is how do we perceive those events. Take heartbreaking breakups for example. We can choose to be a passive victim and indulge ourselves in self pity , or we can be an active agent and take responsibility to grow from the failed relationship.

In summary , there are 2 different model that we can choose to lead our lives with. The easier but harmful mode , or the slightly more challenging , but beneficial mode. It is up to us to constantly remind ourselves to step out of our comfort zone , and be in the stretch zone where we can grow over the long run. Comfort zone is always comfortable , until it isn't anymore.

Starting today , put yourself in the challenging but beneficial mode and do something that you don't feel comfortable doing. It could be dragging yourself to the gym. It could be visiting the dentist. Or it could simply be reading a book. You can change for the better , if you opt for the more challenging and beneficial mode of life with great determination.